Countdown

Kristen,

I realize I've forgotten to formally announce my Christmas vacation dates. I'll be back in Canada from December 18 - January 17. This means I'm leaving Georgia in less than two weeks!

I'm really, really looking forward to a vacation. I was sick for the entire month of November, and I'm still nursing a congested chest and accompanying cough. I also chipped a tooth and have no idea how I did it. My hair is a split-end ravaged, scraggly mess. My clothes are stained, worn, and boring. I'm starting to grow a unibrow. Let's not even talk about my feet.

I also have moments where I suddenly remember something about home, some convenience or service or experience I'd forgotten exists. This happened most recently on Sunday, when I was watching a movie. Two of the characters ordered Chinese delivery. Chinese delivery! Cheap, delicious Asian food that comes to your house! Flabbergasted, I said aloud, "Oh yeah, that's a thing that exists!"

So clearly I'm looking forward to a return to cushy Canadian life. As I type this, though, I feel tremendously guilty for being able to just escape back to the developed world - my students and Georgian friends and family can't do that. If they want to use a microwave they have to invest a month's wages into buying one. If they want their freshly-laundered clothes to dry they have to hope it's not going to rain. I've had many conversations about quality of life, average income, and what middle-class Canadians possess - and it never fails to surprise Georgians. It's not just that Canadians have more; it's that our frame of reference is different. "How much does an average flat cost in Canada?" is a question I hear a lot. Putting aside issues of size and city and amenities, my answer has to re-frame the question: "Most Canadians buy houses. Apartments are generally rented." And how do I answer a question about people trying to bribe police officers out of traffic tickets? "It doesn't happen" doesn't sound like it can be the truth. But that's how these conversations go. No matter how livable, how modern one's life in Tbilisi is, Georgia is still a developing country. And so our conversations always start as a clash of perspectives.

Here's something to cheer us all up: this weekend, Georgia won the Junior Eurovision contest. (If you're not familiar with Eurovision, good grief, and also read this). Their entry was a five-member girl group called Candy, singing a song called "Candy Music" (this is about the level of sophistication you can expect from all Eurovision contestants, youth or otherwise). Here's the video of their winning performance:

Also, I'd like to thank the city of Tbilisi and all federal government buildings for putting up Christmas lights, trees and other decorations well over a month before Georgian Orthodox Christmas, because they're helping me get in the mood for Other Christmas.

La Belle Langue

Kristen,

I'm sitting in a French-style cafe eating pain au chocolat and contemplating language. The signs identifying the pastries here are in French, so understanding what a food item is and what it contains was easier than it usually has been for me. Of course, this meant my brain short-circuited and I said to the girl at the counter, "ერტი pain au chocolat, si vous plait". She responded in English. I can't seem to think straight.

I've discovered that when I'm trying to think of a Georgian word or phrase my brain "runs home to mother" - provides me with the words in French. So being here may actually improve my French, and may also be the longest period I've thought in French since my last trip to Paris.

Of course, French still isn't much of an asset when English isn't an option. I wish I spoke Russian. Or really, since I'm wishing anyway, I wish I spoke Georgian! I pick up new words here and there, and some friends and students have been helping me, but what I really need is an intensive course like the one I'm being paid to inflict on my students.

*  *  *

I've started tutoring in earnest this week. I have five students, with another to come in November. I don't find tutoring as draining as teaching, and I've been able to be a bit more creative with my methods, rather than just stick to textbooks and tests. Plus, one-on-one time has allowed me to actually talk to people, make friends, and be treated to that Georgian hospitality I can't get enough of. I've had some crazy plans for staying in Georgia - open a consignment clothing store, start an English communications consulting firm, become Georgia's worst housewife - but maybe sticking around to be a professional adult tutor is the least crazy. (I'd ask that you refrain from inquiring after my qualifications, since they consist entirely of "native English speaker" and "generally not a simpleton").

*  *  *

Halloween is coming up, evidenced by the fact that "Monster Mash" came up on my iPod today and I didn't skip past it. I've been invited to two parties, and I need a costume for one - any ideas from the peanut gallery? Specifically, a costume I can make without access to face paint, cheap wigs, thrift stores, craft stores, or the Zellers/Targets/Wal-Marts of the world? (One Halloween miracle, please!)

*  *  *

This song has been on my new music playlist for a few weeks now, and I think it's a perfect fit for my state of mind:

Sakartvelos Gaumarjos!

True story from one of my speaking exams:


Me: What other countries would you like to visit?

Student: America! America is wonderful country! Georgians love America, because America loves Georgia!

Me: Yeah, I've noticed.

Student: You are from America, yes?

Me: Actually, no, I'm Canadian.

Student: ...Oh. Canada is very nice country, too.

Me: [...]


Can I blame him, though? The last time Canada and Georgia had meaningful relations was when we killed one of their sons.

*  *  * 

The program organized a trip to Kakheti this weekend, a major wine-producing region and the place I was supposed to move to in August. I picked and stomped grapes, watched bread and khinkali being made by hand, personally made chuchkella (even though I didn't get to personally eat it - Georgia Wish List, I failed you!), and danced to the "police hymn" (the kids' version of that video, by the way, is the cutest thing YOU HAVE EVER SEEN OR WILL EVER SEE).

The photos of my day trip are here in a facebook album. Here's a taste:

I was also interviewed on Georgian TV. I'll post that video once it's online.

*  *  *

My 14-month-old host sister spends most of her time laughing, but when she cries I've noticed she looks like Patton Oswalt.

*  *  *

Speaking of Canada's popularity with foreigners, I'm going to engage in a little self-promotion (it's my blog, dammit!) and post a link to "Canada's Immigration Policy: A Focus on Human Capital", a brief I wrote for my former employer, the Migration Policy Institute.