What's new?
Lots. Always.
I tried schwarma for the first time and really liked it. I think it would be better with teriyaki sauce, though.
I saw boobs on the news one day. (Boobs on the News is my band name, don't steal it)
I learned that roast baby pig is a Georgian delicacy, especially around New Year's. I laughed out loud when my students told me this; of all the crazy, potentially offensive foods... roast. baby. pig.
I'm supposed to make a decision by October 30 on whether or not to renew my contract. Every day I go back and forth.
I made a Thanksgiving feast on Monday, with the help of a fellow Canuck and two Yanks. I'm pretty proud of myself, since I couldn't find any Thanksgiving ingredients with which to make the dinner - no sage, no celery, no cranberries, no pumpkin, and the only turkey was 110GEL. But one of my American friends made a turkey traced from her hand, so it was a festive evening nonetheless.
I've been having a lot of conversations recently, with both Westerners and Georgians, about the social rules governing male and female interaction in Georgia - courtship, sex, marriage, gender roles, and so on. I don't know if I have the right frame of mind (or time, or energy, or space) to get into it on this blog, but it has become a sticking point of culture shock. I've come to expect most of the differences between Georgia and Canada, and accept them, but I've bumped up against this one a few times lately, and it's left an impression.
Some examples after the jump...
- Hearing stories about bridenappings, a practice that is uncommon now but the consequences of which many women still live with. Women who were kidnapped in their late teens and, having spent the night in their kidnapper's home, were shamed and devalued in their villages and family homes - so a decade later are still married to their captor and have borne his children. (Any conversation on bridenapping usually involves a lot of shrugging.)
- The assertion from a Georgian man that all Georgian women want to get married and have babies, and his challenge to us foreign women to find him one who doesn't. (Granted, it seems like all Georgian men are similarly marriage-and-baby-crazy, and this is a very family- and child-positive society)
- Certain interactions between men and women are socially policed, as the unspoken assumption is that there is only one thing a man and a woman can do when alone together; that there is only one thing a man wants and only one thing a woman is good for. (This is the one I'm most familiar with, especially since Western women already have an... how do I put this delicately?... unflattering reputation in foreign countries).
- The division of labour within the home. One of my students explained that he does not cook, clean or look after the children because he is "busy". I asked if his wife also works full time outside the home. He said yes. The men couldn't understand what I was driving at, but all the women got delightfully sarcastic and knowing until the men asked to change the subject. I regret bringing up the topic, but this has been on my mind all week and I couldn't let the discussion slide.
- The thick dividing line between "girlfriend/wife" and "prostitute/lover". It is not merely drawn by the exchange of money or vows, but how she behaves and how much respect a man should accord her. There are some things "good girls" don't do.
- The expectation that a woman is a virgin until her wedding night, but a man should be "experienced". (See above)
- I can't even begin to discuss domestic violence.
I don't completely feel comfortable posting this, because I love Georgia and I don't want to offend a country that has agreed to graciously host me. But these issues (and more) have been running around my brain all week and I needed to at least mention them.
Lots. Always.
I tried schwarma for the first time and really liked it. I think it would be better with teriyaki sauce, though.
I saw boobs on the news one day. (Boobs on the News is my band name, don't steal it)
I learned that roast baby pig is a Georgian delicacy, especially around New Year's. I laughed out loud when my students told me this; of all the crazy, potentially offensive foods... roast. baby. pig.
I'm supposed to make a decision by October 30 on whether or not to renew my contract. Every day I go back and forth.
I made a Thanksgiving feast on Monday, with the help of a fellow Canuck and two Yanks. I'm pretty proud of myself, since I couldn't find any Thanksgiving ingredients with which to make the dinner - no sage, no celery, no cranberries, no pumpkin, and the only turkey was 110GEL. But one of my American friends made a turkey traced from her hand, so it was a festive evening nonetheless.
* * *
I've been having a lot of conversations recently, with both Westerners and Georgians, about the social rules governing male and female interaction in Georgia - courtship, sex, marriage, gender roles, and so on. I don't know if I have the right frame of mind (or time, or energy, or space) to get into it on this blog, but it has become a sticking point of culture shock. I've come to expect most of the differences between Georgia and Canada, and accept them, but I've bumped up against this one a few times lately, and it's left an impression.
Some examples after the jump...
- Hearing stories about bridenappings, a practice that is uncommon now but the consequences of which many women still live with. Women who were kidnapped in their late teens and, having spent the night in their kidnapper's home, were shamed and devalued in their villages and family homes - so a decade later are still married to their captor and have borne his children. (Any conversation on bridenapping usually involves a lot of shrugging.)
- The assertion from a Georgian man that all Georgian women want to get married and have babies, and his challenge to us foreign women to find him one who doesn't. (Granted, it seems like all Georgian men are similarly marriage-and-baby-crazy, and this is a very family- and child-positive society)
- Certain interactions between men and women are socially policed, as the unspoken assumption is that there is only one thing a man and a woman can do when alone together; that there is only one thing a man wants and only one thing a woman is good for. (This is the one I'm most familiar with, especially since Western women already have an... how do I put this delicately?... unflattering reputation in foreign countries).
- The division of labour within the home. One of my students explained that he does not cook, clean or look after the children because he is "busy". I asked if his wife also works full time outside the home. He said yes. The men couldn't understand what I was driving at, but all the women got delightfully sarcastic and knowing until the men asked to change the subject. I regret bringing up the topic, but this has been on my mind all week and I couldn't let the discussion slide.
- The thick dividing line between "girlfriend/wife" and "prostitute/lover". It is not merely drawn by the exchange of money or vows, but how she behaves and how much respect a man should accord her. There are some things "good girls" don't do.
- The expectation that a woman is a virgin until her wedding night, but a man should be "experienced". (See above)
- I can't even begin to discuss domestic violence.
I don't completely feel comfortable posting this, because I love Georgia and I don't want to offend a country that has agreed to graciously host me. But these issues (and more) have been running around my brain all week and I needed to at least mention them.
FWIW, I don't think you should feel uncomfortable at all. I've got a few blog posts re: cultural differences simmering on my own stove. For any of us to post only positive things is to be complicit in a Disney-esque PR campaign.
ReplyDeleteAs for the country graciously hosting us ... while this is true on one level, keep in mind that Georgia gets almost every penny back on its investment. We spend most of our money here; we bring school supplies and other goods with us that we distribute to Georgians; we entice friends, family members, and friends of friends to be tourists in Georgia. We write blogs that give good press to the country. It's a great mutually-beneficial program!
Livingrootless.
>I don't completely feel comfortable posting this
ReplyDeleteHey Ashley, The Legendary Neal (you've probably already heard about him) made whole series on this subject, go check:
http://peripateticpedagogue.wordpress.com/
I do not think that should should not discuss it. However my suggestion would be that instead of making assumptions or blanket statements you should discuss this and other sensitive topics in a matter of questions which motivates your students and other locals think.
See, locals are not accustomed to critical thinking (you've probably encountered this too), the question 'why', 'why this way, not another', 'have you tried something different' are not the questions asked within the society. However when those questions are asked by a foreigner, you will hear not only standard stereotypical answers, but (one hopes so) it might start motivate people to re-examine the subject, think differently.
I think you and your colleagues greatest asset is not only teaching your students (and/or your host families) a new language, but participate into cultural exchange. Which means that they (and you too) learning something from each other for mutual benefit. And will come to your accomplishment if you can show that some customs in the society are outdated and it would be for their own benefit if society changes.
Keep writing and thanks.
I've read Neal's posts, and he hits a lot of the points I'd been trying to deconstruct the past week. (He also took all the heat for going into such analytic detail)
ReplyDeleteI posted this as a dumping ground for my feelings, directed mainly at my friends and family abroad. But I also posted it as an act of frustration - I'd love to ask every one of my Georgian friends deep, personal intrusive questions on these subjects but I don't want to be rude, overstep my bounds, or get pat, dishonest answers. Frankly, I'd love to do an anonymous, academic survey on the subject!
I think I'll just keep being cautiously nosy under the guise of teaching English.
> I'd love to ask every one of my Georgian
ReplyDelete> friends deep, personal intrusive questions on
> these subjects
If those friends are female you should have no barriers at all - girl talk is pretty much the same across all world. If some of them are male, it is much more difficult situation - gender problem is like an White Elephant in the kitchen for the society which everyone (mostly males) tries to pretend that does not exist.
> Frankly, I'd love to do an anonymous,
> academic survey on the subject!
Do you have background in sociology and polls? If yes, you'd be an invaluable asset for the program if you can use your skills in addition to teaching English.
However, I'd rather suggest you to poll not locals, but your female colleagues first regarding the questions of sexual harassment by Georgian man and all other inter-gender related problems.
Neal is frustrated by all this gender situation and it is quite visible in his blog. however his frustration manifests itself as an opinion of a single individual, even there are many 'like' and 'agree' in the blog replies.
See, to take the resolution of the the problem to the higher and more serious level then steaming about this into blog one has to have a concrete data which is valid by modern statistical and sociological methods.
If you poll for example 400 female volunteers anonymously using the valid polling form/methods (the form they could submit electronically attached to their weekly/monthly reports), process the data according to standards and present the result to the generic public and media - this will have very serious implications on the situation awareness and might really increase speed of changes in the society. I mentioned this to Neal once.
However please be aware that you can not do this level of study alone. You will need help and support. The most importantly support from the TLG itself and the project coordinators.
I do actually have a background in stats and empirical research! A survey of TLG volunteers would be usefuly, absolutely, but I'm dying of curiosity when it comes to Georgian opinions. I would love to poll both men and women, and get a picture of changing social mores - the difference between what they expected to do, what they want to do, and how they reconcile traditional social values with the very globalized, modern image Georgia is striving for.
ReplyDeleteThe barriers to that are perhaps insurmountable - and yes, that level of data collection and analysis would require resources and a team. If I ever decide to do a PhD, perhaps...
Who are you and what's your story, Invisible? My email is on my profile, if you're interested in taking this discussion further.