It's the little things

Clips from my life:

• Finally have all the ingredients for my famous peanut butter chocolate chip cookies; minds will be blown this Tuesday
• A care package is on its way from Canada (and since this is me we're talking about, it's mostly filled with clothes)
• One of my classes has decided that the best strategy for test day is to not show up for test day
• Found a Goosebumps book in Hebrew, and now really wish I had a friend who reads Hebrew so I could give them the best gift of their life
• Thinking about the (upwards of $120) haircut I'm going to get when I'm in Canada at Christmas. Definitely bangs, definitely shorter, but that's all I have so far. I think my three year experiment with long hair needs to be wrapped up.
• Finally saw Contagion; little disappointed that this wasn't the explanation for the virus
• Possibly involved in a Georgian love triangle

And finally, really big news coming in the next week or so; stay tuned.

*  *  *

Heyyyy, also, while I have you (plural, i.e. everyone) here - why not send me an email when you get the chance? (Or, alternatively, make time. Seriously. I'm only on the other side of the world, here). I also accept (and reply to!) text messages, Skype voicemails, and all means of facebook communication. I don't have internet at home, but I will respond in a timely manner to any communique, from matters pop cultural, to big life events, to everyday bitching and moaning.

Sample topics:

- that crappy movie you saw last weekend
- which new TV shows have been cancelled already
- that idiot thing your idiot boyfriend did
- how insane your relatives are
- work is the worst!
- the cute new sweater you bought for fall
- gossip
- a fantastic book you just read, that you wish I'd read too so we could discuss it
- guess what building they tore down/which guilty pleasure chain store it was replaced with?
- Canadian politics (HA HA HA JUST KIDDING)
- my life is terrible and I miss you!

...and so on.

Thank you!

Stage Two

Oh, Kristen. It finally happened. I'd been waiting for this, eyes closed, cringing, ducking for cover - stage two of culture shock.

I've been (mostly) needlessly grumpy for almost a week now, sleeping poorly, dragging myself to work, not wanting to leave the apartment or explore the city. Everything - from grocery shopping to being a pedestrian to the way Georgians get off the Metro escalators (for the record - like cold molasses) - is stressing me out and causing me to lose my temper. To quote the repository of all human knowledge, "Language barriers, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings". Not to mention the heat and humidity are wearing me down, making me feel fatigued, ugly, messy and generally worthless. I am so tired of sweating through the same six items of clothing every week.

I forced myself out of the house today and wandered aimlessly around Marjanishvili square (which, unbeknownst to me, is under major, dusty, confusing construction). It was unpleasant. I popped into a clothing store, where a sales lady said to me, "We have your size! Big size!" (sidebar: Sigh.) I tried on a pair of navy trousers that fit nicely and were pretty cool - unfortunately they were 120GEL (72CAD). Now I understand why my fashionable Georgian peers order online from Forever 21, Next, H&M and the like, and have their purchases shipped from the Western world via a middleman; selection is poor here and prices are ridiculous.

Speaking of fashion, here's something that absolutely delights me. Harem pants are all the rage among Georgian women. Not horrible drop-crotch, MC Hammer harem pants - tailored, slim-cut, incredibly stylish harem pants. Like these:

I want some.

That said, I know one of two things will happen if I make this dream come true:
1. I will try on a pair of harem pants, see how terrible they look on me, and be cured.
2. I will buy a pair of harem pants, celebrate that I finally have something to wear in the heat, and autumn will arrive the second I step out of the store. (I actually hope this one works out, because I am desperate for fall and will even resort to ironic trickery to get it).

Speaking of dreams, I had one that I moved into an apartment with you, Kristen. My room was huge and airy and fully-furnished in a wonderfully feminine, rustic-chic style. It had a big, soft bed and lots of storage space and a TV. Clearly, being a couch squatter is getting to me. Word on the street is that I have a host family here in Tbilisi, but they're renovating so who knows when I can move in. (I also had a dream that a McDonald's opened up within walking distance of my parents' house, and a dream about Ron Swanson. None of my dreams require much interpretation).

There are also rumours going around that I'll be staying at the Ministry for the rest of my contract (which would make sense if they're moving me into a home in Tbilisi). I heard about this from my assistant, who knows all. I, on the other hand, know nothing.

Dress right and know where you are

Kristen,

Here is the blog you harassed me to start. I'll try to stay true to updating it, documenting incidents of culture shock, language mishaps, inappropriate come-ons, etc. Maybe also stories of cute kids, new friends, and mindblowing scenery.

Right now I'm twenty-two days from Georgia. I have multiple To Do lists, and want to get started on every item on every list immediately. Number one on any list is, of course, learning as much Georgian as I can. Here's my name: აშლე ჭალლინორ. Gorgeous, isn't it? The Georgian alphabet has a hard "ch" sound, so maybe strangers will finally pronounce my surname correctly.

Second on my list is creating a wardrobe. My friend Carole, who is more of a fashionista than I am, suggested I "dress like a Frenchwoman" - i.e., have a small stable of classic pieces in neutral colours that can be combined into any number of practical and chic outfits. Based on the requirements for dressing in Georgia (dark, conservative clothes) this is my best bet. Plain blouses, long skirts, and a rugged pair of hiking boots will be my new style.

(I really just want to dress like Rhianna most days but have yet to find a workplace accepting of that).